a little impromtu baking

 Tonight I had the overwhelming urge to bake. I’ve given up TV this month, and I have cheated a few times for things like Top Chef, an occasional baseball game, and nightly news here and there, for the most part, I’ve been pretty good. The few times I have actually been tempted to veg, I’ve been delighted to find that there is absolutely nothing on tv that I want to watch anyway… which is the great part about giving it up in the summer time. There is too much to see and do outside, and too much sunlight to waste time. That being said, I found myself a little bored this evening. I’ve been devouring books this month, but I just finished my last book on Sunday and wasn’t quite ready to dive into another plot-line and get emotionally involved with new characters. I felt like doing something active, and given the fact that I had already gone for a run and taken two yoga classes, I settled for something active in the kitchen.

I chose to ignore the fact that I had a half a gallon of home-made Marionberry ice cream in the freezer, and half of a fifteen layer crepe and lemon-curd cake awaiting consumption in the fridge, and opted to exercise my culinary creativity.   I decided quickly assemble an apricot galette.  I adore making galettes. They are so rustic and charming looking, no matter how they turn out, it is how they are supposed to look. I’m always so discouraged when my cakes are not frosted to perfection and lean to one side, so I get excited when the “not so perfect” look is actually desirable in desserts. 

 Before it went in the oven

 I was immediately drawn to this recipe, because of the addition of thyme. I love putting savory herbs into desserts, and lately thyme has been in the running for my favorite herb. I love how versatile it is. Let me tell you, it’s not just for stuffing turkeys.  Thyme actually makes a wonderful tea (which is really good for sore throats and tonsillitis because of the natural antiseptic properties of thyme), is great in simple syrups, and is the key ingredient in my newly famous Rosemary Thyme Sugar Cookies.

I will admit, my mother and I made this recipe about a month ago, and things did not turn out so well. She agreed to make the crust, while put together the filling, and since she had never made the recipe before, she followed it exactly. The crust was rather crumbly, and really hard to roll out (but boy was it rustic looking). Tonight I opted to add an extra TBS of water to the slurry part of the dough, and then drizzled in a little bit more as I was kneading it. It worked like a charm, and the crust didn’t give me any trouble whatsoever.  

It was the perfect dessert on a hot summer evening, and the leftovers are going to make a rather decadent breakfast for me tomorrow morning! 

The finished product

Twenty-Five!

Hello Mid-Twenties I've arrived! Though of course being twenty-five feels no different than being twenty-four, but I am now officially a quarter of a century old.

I don't know what the next year has in store for me... I'm hoping that my accident prone-ness / my questionable karma turns around... In prepping for my dinner party, I managed to pour a pot of boiling water on myself... nothing says happy birthday like burns on your stomach. At this point I just have to laugh... its been quite the year. Prancing around town with my skivvies hanging out, countless tonsillitis/ strep encounters, a doozy of a staff infection, numerous burns, lost luggage... maybe I"ll outgrow it eventually.

Here is the thing about having birthdays on a Monday... all the restaurants you want to go to are closed, and everyone you want to celebrate with is at work, so naturally you must throw a party over the weekend.

I had a solstice themed evening potluck fete, and had a lovely evening drinking mojitos, and celebrating with friends. Is there any better way to kick off the begining of summer than with a minty cool beverage, baseball, good friends, and delicious fresh food? The only rule of the potluck was that everything had to be fresh... nothing from a box or a can, and our dinner was an excellent spread of salads, dips, stuffed tomatoes, pie, homemade ice cream, cookies, and overall deliciousness. 

Monday was spent in typical birthday fashion, or at least what I consider to be typical birthday fashion. I started off the morning with twenty-five Sun Salutations. It seemed very appropriate given my recent start on the yogi path, and since my birthday falls on the solstice. It actually wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, and by sun salute number twelve I was in the zone. I definitely feel a little bit more in-tune with my body, and am experiencing a few muscles that I haven't in a while. The great thing about sun salutations is that they work all the main muscle groups, so it's like a complete body workout, mind and body.

 I have a few ideas about birthdays... the first is that you should wear cute underwear on your birthday... or at least underwear that makes you feel sassy. It's totally a mental thing, but I think it adds a little je ne sais quoi to your day, even if no one else sees them, you at least know you are wearing them.

Secondly, I like to splurge a little bit on my birthday. Since I was turning twenty-five, I figured it was justifiable to splurge on a few small things.  Three to be exact (ok so really four if you count my trip to Boston). I treated myself to a nice lunch. Originally my plan was to enjoy a lunch of Pineapple Red Curry. Even though I have been known to eat thai food probably once a week, I am undeniably in love with curry. It is my ultimate comfort food. I crave it constantly, and it is one of the only foods capable of filling up my stomach, and my soul all at the same time. Sadly the local Thai restaurant was closed... (damn you Monday) but I was able to find a very tasty alternative at a tapas place down the street. The food was elegant and simple, and the ingredients were fresh. I had a roasted beet salad with sea salt, blue cheese and olive oil, an Arugula salad with hazelnuts and currants, and bacon wrapped dates. Oh, and I had a Pear and Cava cocktail... because who doesn't want something bubbly on their birthday?

Then I allowed myself to do a little bit of shopping. Though I promised I wouldn't buy anything unless I was in love with it, I of course managed to find something fun. Of course now the sun is shining,(which I of course will attribute to my sun salutations)  and all thoughts of coats are gone until the fall, this will be something fun for the fall, and the spring!

My third splurge was a bottle of Old Tom Gin from Ransom Distillery. Yum! This gin is excellent (it's perfect for sipping by itself, but makes a beautiful gin an tonic) and its locally made! Hooray!

The rest of the day was spent leisurely sipping coffee, indulging in a little bit of television, and playing copious amounts of Rockband....(I may or may not have been a drummer in a past life) I know its a glamorous life in birthday land... yoga, lounging around, lingering lunches, cocktails, shopping... a girl could get used to this! =) Now, back to reality, but I'm planning on embracing this next year, and am excited to see where it takes me.

Double Header

It's June 19th....and out of principle I started wearing my summer clothing about three weeks ago. Forget the fact that in Oregon we are living through what many are calling "Juneuary" I keep telling myself that if I put on my summer attire, the weather will follow suit. Of course this has left me chilly on several occasions wishing for long pants and a sweater... but my feet are longing to be free of shoes, my legs are freshly shaved, and I plan on willing the weather into submission.

Ok, maybe not, but I am so ready for the sunshine! Don't get me wrong, I do love the rain (as an Oregonian you sort of have too) and I'm not going to lie, it smells delicious outside right now, as it started raining about fifteen minutes ago... Unfortunately there is also a wedding happening outdoors at Red Ridge Farms at this very moment... and I feel bad for the happy couple as they say their vows in the drizzle. Of course this morning I was prepped for rain... I had a back up plan.... the tables were set on the covered patio, the bar was under cover.... everything was ready because this storm had been predicted.... Sadly for the wedding couple we had a few moments of sunshine this afternoon, and all of my table placements were over-ruled by the mother of the bride.... now literally half of the guests will be either standing inside, or sitting outside in the rain, rather than under cover, next to heat lamps.... and the poor bartender is going to be rather damp by the end of the night... at least they seem like a very chill couple...and the bride is actually wearing rain boots... hopefully it will be just a quick shower. I just have to sit here and resist saying "I told you so" instead I keep repeating the mantra "this is not my wedding, and I'm getting paid to be here" But I do wish the mother would have kept my rain-proof table arrangement... after all this is not my first rodeo...

This is actually the second wedding at Red Ridge today... we sort of took on the mentality of "go big or go home" when it came to kicking off wedding season. I can safely say that the two weddings were the antithesis of each other... The first wedding was very much a whirlwind, and only the ceremony took place here, and they left as quickly as they came. For about an hour the grounds were dotted with bridesmaids in "pool" colored floor length gowns (pool is the actually color when you look at wedding color swatches... it translates into some sort of aqua blue). Everyone in the wedding party was chain smoking for most of the time they were here, and a few of them kicked off the morning with Keystone Light in the parking lot at 9AM. After the short ceremony, the bride and groom hopped on their motorcycle and drove off into the morning... gown and all...

Two down, nine to go in Event Season 2010. The really great thing about wedding season is that there is enough of a hiatus from November-June that I sort of forget about the chaos... its just enough of a break for me to regain my energy and enthusiasm for being attached to an event venue that caters towards brides. In those cold winter months when we are planning harvest dinners and corporate functions I forget about the high intensity of weddings, the reactions of mothers, the emotions that are caught up in that one moment, the hassle of moving chairs from lawn to event room...

My parents are hopeful that after a few more years at this job, I will decide to elope if I ever get married... Little do they know that my hours spent at other people's weddings, has really only groomed me for planning my own someday. And I will have a backup plan in case of rain.

I'd like to register for Life please.

The more I think about it, the more I think that we should be allowed to create a “life registry”. Forget weddings, or babies…. Why do the married and the childbearing get to be the only ones with a very specific list of gifts they would like to recieve? It is actually pretty ridiculous when you think about it. You go out into the world as a single person, and start accumulating your own set of stuff. Dishes, furniture, books, camping gear, etc until you finally settle down with another once single person who has accumulated all the same stuff, and then you have to get together, and sort through it all, get rid of a ton, and then gasp, register for more “grown-up” stuff. I argue that we should cut out the middle man… that being the wedding registry, and just start accumulating the good stuff right now.

Why is this the norm? Personally I would have liked to begin collecting the “good stuff” when I was right out of college. Frankly, I am more likely to use a Dutch oven now in my single life than when I’m married and actually put it on a registry. The same goes with a kitchen aid mixer, a good vacuum, cake plates, nice sheets, bathroom towels and a menagerie of other items typically found on a wedding registry.  Not that I want anyone to get any ideas, but think of the domestic goddess I could be by the time I am married if I already had all these things at my disposal. And for those people getting married, wouldn’t it be so much simpler if you already had nice cookie sheets, and didn’t have to worry about registering for them? Wouldn’t it be nice if people just gave you money towards your honeymoon, or a down-payment on a house, rather than having to worry about starting a new life without any of the basics? And though I realize this is not always the case, but why are people encouraged to give you stuff, when you are suddenly combining two incomes…. Granted I know there are a lot of expenses to consider… but regardless, single people still pay rent, and phone bills, and internet, and cable, and car insurance, and utilities… and most of those basic expenses are not going to increase with the wedding vows… in fact they often go down… so why is it that they don’t let us single people on a budget create a registry for our personal lives?

I’m reminded of the episode of Sex and the City, “A Woman’s right to Shoes” when a pair of Carrie’s shoes get stolen at a party. Carrie then realized that she has been to countless baby and bridal showers, and has each time brought a gift, and so when the hostess of the party refuses to buy her replacement shoes, she goes out and registers for them.  No, I would not go out and register for a pair of Manolos… but as a single-girl in my mid-twenties, why shouldn’t I be registered for things like an espresso maker, composting kit, and a vacuum that doesn’t have to be emptied every five minutes? Why can’t I create a registry that has things like cowboy boots, new running shoes, wine glasses, a file cabinet, and a Manduka yoga mat? These are all practical things that I would use on a daily basis (ok maybe not the cowboy boots… but you never know). Why do married people get to have all the fun?

Can you imagine how much simpler life would be if you just had a running list of things you would like? Gone would be the days of getting the “not quite what I wanted, but am thrilled you thought of me” gifts.  There would never be the awkward “I don’t really know what to get this person” moments. And even if you wanted to be creative and original and not get something off the registry, I find that registries are really helpful guidelines. It’s like the recommendations you get from online shopping. “Based on your recent purchase, we recommend these items” you can look at someone’s registry, and though you might not buy them the exact kitchen towels they were looking at, you can get an idea of personality, wants, and needs, and then pick out a gift that is appropriate, and personal. 

Registries seem to make the statement “I’m starting my life, and I want to start it with stability, and a few comforts” and isn’t that essentially what you are doing/saying when you give a wedding gift. “congratulations on starting your new life, here is something to make it a little bit easier” Well what about those of us who are unmarried, and whose lives started right out of college? Who says that I wouldn’t have been just as appreciative of a juicer at the age of twenty-two? Actually I would have probably been more appreciative of a juicer right out of school… or right now even!

Literally every piece of furniture I own (with the exception of a plant stand from Ikea) is a hand-me-down. The same can mostly be said of my kitchen equipment. I have a few new plates, and mugs, and a gorgeous set of mixing bowls, but everything else has been inherited. Not that it is a bad thing, I love being thrifty and recycling, and there is no way I could have ever afforded a couch like this, but sometimes a girl just longs for a new Cuisinart… And left to their own devices, I don’t think any of my friends would ever think to get me a potato ricer for a gift out of the blue. And though I am trying desperately to work on this, I have begun to form an attachment to some of my belongings… and I know that when I actually get married and have to begin dividing and getting rid of stuff it will be a challenge to part with some of my things… its ridiculous I know, but part of me just wants to say to hell with it, and start investing in my dream kitchen… relationships may come and go, but Le Creuset products are forever… so why not start out my “life” with one, and just take it with me when I’m married? I mean if I’m going to be forming attachments to things… It just seems so backwards to me… the idea of accumulating stuff, and then merging households, purging, and starting over. I mean both sides bring “stuff” into the relationship…. So why is it then, that people with stuff, get to then register for better stuff? Why it is ok for people getting married to ask for the stuff that they want to star their lives with, but not for people who have graduated college and who are striking out on their own? Why do people getting married, or having babies get to go to the store and pick out exactly what they want, but the rest of the world isn’t allowed to have a concrete list? What happens when we want the good stuff now… and why do I have to be married, or having a kid before it is socially acceptable for us to ask for it?

To be perfectly honest, sometimes I want gifts that are practical… This is not me looking the gift-horse in the mouth, or being un-grateful, and I will admit that I have delighted in several un-practical gifts. But in my case, I often go out and splurge on something un-practical for my birthday anyway, so if someone actually tied a bow around a hand-held mixer it would be a real treat! And yet, you can’t really ask people to get you hand-held mixers…. I mean you could, but I personally wouldn’t… and yet you give a bride a registry, and she will ask you for all sorts of practical items you would probably never think to give anyone unless they were getting married. I’m sorry, but married people are not the only ones who need basic kitchen supplies. Hello world, I’m single, and I like to bake things… where is my registry? 

Sort of along these same lines, I’ve always wondered why people don’t establish some sort of yearly guide for gift giving, similar to anniversaries, first year is paper etc. At least once we are adults. I would love it if I could say “oh so-and-so is turning twenty-six… that means we are all getting her bottles of wine” How much easier would gift giving be? You know in advance what you are getting, but it still allows for creativity and individuality on the part of the giver. You can select items in an already established category that have stood out to you, and are unique in some way, or remind you of the recipient. “This book reminded me of you” or “I know you really like Pinot Noir, and this is one of my favorite vineyards”

 I mean this essentially happens when people turn twenty-one, regardless of the circumstances, you usually get alcohol. So why not just keep adding on as the years go on? Twenty-two: books, Twenty-three: house-plants, Twenty-four: kitchen gadgets. You get the idea. I’m sure this would be much easier to incorporate amongst girlfriends… just set a gift-theme and let the year cycle out. I know I sometimes get into a “gifting rut” anyway, where I stumble upon one gift I like so much, that I just continue to keep getting it over and over again for all the people in my life… And in some ways it would be so much more personal too. I would rather pick out a fun houseplant that I know will look great it my friend’s apartment, and sort of matches their personality, rather than going to the store and picking out something less meaningful like a cd, or candle. And in some cases, I would rather pick something off of a registry, and know its an item my friend really wants, rather than just picking out something at random… Though I realize it is the thought that counts when it comes to gift giving... there is something to be said for knowing exactly what you want, and knowing it is exactly what you are going to get.    

Hello my name is Tayler, and I've never read Jane Austen...

I have a confession to make… I’ve never read anything by Jane Austen. There, I’ve admitted it, let the chastising begin. I have no idea how this fact can even be true, as I have been obsessed with Jane Austen since I was a little girl. I was an English major for crying out loud! (well, more specifically Creative Writing, but they are very closely related, especially in the amount of required literature classes).

I’m still trying to figure out how I’ve made it almost to the age of twenty-five without devouring all of her novels. Sense and Sensibility has been on my reading list since I was ten years old! When the movie came out, I was obsessed, and I’m pretty sure that I rented it more than anyone else is our small town combined… it was practically the background of my childhood. I loved the flowing gowns, the English countryside, the wit, the language, the strong women, the romance, I loved it all! I know for a fact that several of my childhood friends were always bored out of their minds at my birthday parties as I subjected everyone to watch Emma at slumber parties. Thankfully my adult friends are much cooler… my college roommate has read Pride and Prejudice about five times (making me look even worse) and watched the movie probably once a week. 

I’m convinced that what makes this situation the most pathetic is that I adore Jane Austen… and as an adoring fan, you would think that the least I could do would be to read one of her books! Perhaps it would be a little more forgivable if Sense and Sensibility hadn’t been sitting on my bookshelf for the past five years. The book has followed me through six moves, and I’ve only picked it up to put it into and take it out of boxes. Maybe it would be more excusable if I had to put in a request at the library, or actually had to buy the book, but no, it’s been at my disposal, and I have neglected it. I’ve even gone so far as to read The Jane Austen Book Club… and yet nothing by her.

The story gets worse… I’ve actually spent time at the Jane Austen Museum in the city of Bath… I’ve walked through the Assembly Halls where several scenes from her novels took place… I’ve been inspired by the costumes, the language, I’ve even swooned after Colin Firth playing Mr. Darcy… so why haven’t I picked up the damn book already? 

I spent this past weekend in Ashland at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, and naturally the first thing I wanted tickets for was Pride and Prejudice… (ok so I didn’t actually see ANY Shakespeare plays at the Shakespeare Festival… which is of course another source of English Major guilt) Though I will admit that the stage version is limited… there are only so many costume changes, and the scenes of course are not taking place in quaint estates in the English Countryside, but the language is still captivating. Several people in the audience even squealed a little bit when Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy finally kiss at the end.

So it’s two weeks to my Twenty-Fifth Birthday, and I’m trying to decide if I should pick up Sense and Sensibility… I’ve never been one to list out things I wanted to accomplish before reaching a certain age (which is kind of shocking, considering my tendency to list everything else). But it seems like maybe I should try… I mean putting something off for fifteen years is a little ridiculous. Yes I am a huge procrastinator, but this is a little much, even for me. Of course the next two weeks are ridiculously busy with work, I’m trying to squeeze in two yoga classes a day, and I’m right in the middle of the Steig Larsson Trilogy… not to mention the fact that I also just started reading Finding Beauty in a Broken World, and will start reading the Bhagavad Gita on Wednesday… Fact, I have given up TV this month, but juggling four books at a time is a little much… But maybe. It seems a shame not to try… I don’t want to be a twenty-five year old who has never even attempted to read Jane Austen…

June

Excuse me, but when did June happen? Halfway through the year already? I’m actually pretty excited for the month, though it will be a busy one. I’m using the month of June to get motivated (on many levels) and “detox” my life a little bit.

Firstly, I’m starting a Yoga Certification Program on the 2^nd. This means lots of intense yoga every week, with at least three hours of dedicated class time, and three hours of actual yoga outside of my personal practice. Hello Downward Facing Dog, goodbye muffin top… at least I’m hoping. I’m also really excited to explore the anatomy, as well as the spiritual side of Yoga. God only knows that I will need some meditation and relaxation as wedding season comes into full swing.  Of course with any sort of class comes the required homework, but I’m excited for the structure, and I’m optimistic that the reading will be interesting.

Since the days will be getting longer for a majority of the month, I’ve decided to spend more time outside enjoying the springtime (if the Oregon weather ever cooperates) and less time being a couch potato. In my defense, I have been sick, and traveling, and working a ton, and sometimes you just need to watch copious amounts of tv while doing nothing productive… But that time is not June. I’ve decided to give up TV for the month, and spend more time reading, running, frolicking outside, yogaing, and getting into a healthier routine.

As with all things, I think moderation is key, as is not being over extreme, so I am allowing myself the occasional nightly news update, and to watch the one or two televised Red Sox games that don’t conflict with my work schedule… oh and I’ll be watching Top Chef, but there are only two episodes in June, so I refuse to feel guilty about that! (really the show serves as more culinary inspiration than anything else).

I’m envisioning lots of evenings spent on my front porch with iced tea, and a good book…

And then there is the running… I’m not as excited about this, but I’m getting there. In a moment of insanity I signed up for a half-marathon in September, and as of today I am starting the training countdown. This half-marathon isn’t going to run itself (although my highly motivated sister-in-law could probably just run it once for me, and once for herself) so here I go into the world of running.

Though I only have one wedding at work this month, June is crazy busy with corporate events, classes, private dinners, seminars, brunches, as well as regular working hours, so I am gearing up for lots of early mornings, even more late nights, and the over-all insanity that comes with working summers at Red Ridge.

I’m very much looking forward to the solstice as well! (There may or may not also be a mile-stone birthday happening at the same time) … thankfully I think I already had my quarter-life-crisis earlier this year, so I’m approaching it without any angst or inner turmoil about what I’m doing with my life. I’m not sure yet exactly how I will celebrate… I already bought myself a trip to Boston, so the day itself might be a little anti-climatic, but I know that there will be mojitos involved  and hopefully I will be eating something that resembles this  And even though it won’t actually be here on my birthday, the cake will be something like this

To List or Not to List.

Normally I am a lover of lists. You know, I’ve blogged about it, and typically I love making them. I love the finality of crossing things off of them, and I love anticipating getting things checked off. That being said, there are some things in my life that I feel I do not need to list out. Things I need to accomplish, groceries, work tasks, people to invite to things etc are all totally acceptable. I’ve even so much as listed out things I would possibly like to splurge on in the future, books I want to read, and potential life goals; However, I have not, much to my mother’s dismay, mapped out the exact characteristics that I am looking for in a husband…

Frankly, I don’t even really know what to say about this. Perhaps it is baffling to some that at the ripe old age of twenty-four I am not incredibly concerned with marriage… at least not in the immediate future. Ok, so I’m not planning on becoming an old maid either, but I can honestly say that I do not spend my days planning out what characteristics I want my future husband to have. (which actually, I think is quite healthy thank you very much). Perhaps it has a lot to do with my current surroundings, and the people that I am around the most. I remember a few years in college when my roommates and I were pretty much taking our cues from Teen Girl Squad, and we all had a crush on every boy; but nowadays a majority of my friends are married, engaged, or significantly attached, and so it’s not like I have a lot of single girl-friends on the prowl. Perhaps if there were more of us, I would spend a little more time whimsically planning out my romantic future… but I kind of don’t think so. I don't spend my days thinking about what I want in a husband, because I'm not too concerned about it. I'll know it when I find it.

It’s been a challenging year, and one that has really solidified for me that I need to start really living in the present and not projecting things onto the future. I’m really trying to embrace things in the here and the now, and making my life what I want it to be, rather than waiting for all the right circumstances, and waiting for things to happen to me. Thus far, I’m thrilled with the way it is working out, and am finding that I am a whole lot happier than I was a few months ago. That being said, I’m still trying to figure out my own life, and what my own wants and needs are, and the idea of listing out what I’m looking for in a life-partner seems a little bit overwhelming. I don’t even know what I want to be doing a year from now, so trying to think about what type of person I want to be spending the rest of my life with is just so not where I’m at… but could someone please explain this to my mother?

She means well, she really does, but our brains work in totally different ways, and I think there is part of her that thinks I am somehow emotionally defunct for not having my “dream-man quality” list at the ready. Granted, it makes it even more challenging when this is something that I typically wouldn’t discuss with my mother, even if I had a physical list filed away somewhere. It just works out better for everyone involved if the sharing about my dating life is minimal. This is not because I’m hiding things, it’s just how my relationship with my mother has worked out (I am totally fine with this fact, she is not. What can you do?) It is challenging to explain without getting into huge amounts of detail, but in general I just feel like dating is between two people, and I like to have time to form my own opinions and figure out what I’m feeling, and where the situation is going before discussing it with anyone, and this for some reason doesn’t sit well with her. She likes things to be done with her timing, and her timing is always me sharing things pretty much the second they happen to me… so not my style. I think it actually has a lot to do with my writing. I’m constantly editing, and tweaking, and re-writing, and I like things to be in a place where I’m comfortable with them before putting them out into the world. The same is true with my life, I like to share things in my own time.

And there have also been a few occasions in the past when my mother (well let’s be honest, both of my parents) have tried to take matters into their own hands when it comes to my dating life (again they mean well, I know this) and as a result it makes me even more reluctant to share. Knowledge is power… and there is a huge part of me that is terrified that if I actually give my mother a concrete list of things I am looking for in a husband, I will suddenly find that she has set up a profile for me on E-harmony.

She wouldn’t really (I don’t think) but she has gone so far as to give out my phone number to one of her patients who was under the influence of anesthesia… I’m not even kidding. This guy pretty much woke up with my phone number, and though he and my mom had a bunch of great conversation when he was on the drugs, he doesn’t remember what they talked about. In her defense, he was pretty cute… and we went on a few dates…but in the end, he was actually addicted to pain pills, and he was a Yankees fan, and after things went south I decided that perhaps blind dates that start with anesthesia are not really my cup of tea.

Maybe I am not in a hurry because right now marriage is not high on my priority list (it is slightly higher than children, but not very). I’m only twenty-four, and I have a lot going on in my life right now, and the idea of spending the rest of my days with the same person is completely foreign to me. Not that I am anti-marriage, or against relationships, I just haven’t gotten around to that yet. Perhaps my priorities are a little askew, but I’m young, and certainly not interested in settling down any time soon. I’m much more concerned with my career, writing, graduate school, traveling, and overall figuring out what makes me happy! It’s not that making a concrete list of what I’m looking for in a husband makes me uncomfortable, but I honestly just haven’t thought about it. Again, this is apparently really hard to believe, especially since I have maybe given a thought or two to what I might what in a wedding. I also blame this on the “being a product of my environment theory”, because I am around weddings all the time. Last year I was in three, had a handful of old roommates get married, and spent a good portion of my work year dealing with brides. When you take into consideration that I am an Event Coordinator by day, so I spend a lot of time advertising weddings, going to bridal shows, and get complimentary bridal magazines sent to my office, I think it would actually be extremely unnatural if I didn’t give any thought to what I might want in a wedding! And weddings are easy! It’s all about your personality and what you like, and reflecting that… and it is only one day! I think it is so much easier to be able to pin-point what you might want in a bouquet, or for wedding favors, rather than to pin-point what you might want in a man you are planning on spending eternity with.

Perhaps I am making the argument that the man is actually more important that the flowers, so maybe I should be spending a little more time focusing on what really matters. But I’ve always believed that things would happen when I least expected them too… so, sitting around thinking, listing, waiting, seems unnatural to me. I sort of embrace the metaphor of the watched pot.

So in the past few weeks, my mother has brought this subject up more than once. I know that she is reading about book about praying for her adult children, and this is probably a chapter focus or something, but every time it comes up, I sort of just roll my eyes. Especially when you start to ask her about the qualities she was looking for in a guy… because to my knowledge, my dad doesn’t have a lot of the qualities on the list (and they are totally perfect together!) And then you ask my dad what qualities he was looking for, and he just sort of laughs, and said he didn’t have any specifics in mind. (Apparently I am my father’s daughter). Even so, it is really hard to try explaining to my mother that I’m still trying to figure out what sort of qualities I want my own life to have!

Anyway, the list thing has been coming up a lot with the family. It doesn’t help matters, that my brother of course had a mental list of what he was looking for, as did my sister-in-law, which therefore solidified the fact that I am the odd-ball in the family for not giving it a second thought.

Then to my surprise I was at work, and one of my co-workers out of the blue asked me if I had made “THE list” (ok it wasn’t exactly out of the blue… we were looking through the before mentioned bridal magazines looking at flowers). Actually one of my best friends had told me a few days prior to this conversation that I needed to start being specific and asking the universe for exactly what I wanted, so I thought it was pretty interesting that now my co-worker and my mother were asking me to make specific lists. Anyway, we got to talking, and apparently my co-worker had numerous friends who were completely frustrated with their dating situations, and so they made “THE list” and both of them were married in six months. I will admit, this perked my interest a little bit (not because I want to be married in six months… more like six years) and I started to think about my current dating situation. I have always sort of been the type of woman who wants what she can’t has (I’m working on it) and I’ve never really had a “type”. Every guy that I have ever dated, or lusted after, or had a crush on, has been completely different from each other in looks, personality, interests, and attitude, and I’ve pretty much always believed that the second I started getting down to specifics of what I wanted, I would fall for someone completely different.

I began to discuss this a little bit more in-depth with my co-worker, because both of us have mixed feelings on the subject. I hate the idea of making a list of shallow, surface level things, and yet also hate the idea of making an incomplete list. “Dear Universe, this is what I want… I think… but I reserve the right to change it at any given time, and add on qualities when they come to me” … My co-worker fully admits that if she made out a list of what she thought she wanted, she would have completely over-looked her current relationship. Of course she is totally happy, but her boyfriend is twenty years older than her, and he is very into cars and fishing. She never would have pictured herself falling for someone like that, and yet here they are. Interestingly enough, her ex-husband is pretty much perfect on paper, and had so many of the things that she would have listed. He was a poet, and into farming, a great father, very literate, and yet things went awry, and the marriage fell apart. The same goes for my ex-boyfriend… on paper there were so many similarities, so many common interests, and so much of what I was looking for… only he is an ass…

So though I am more intrigued now by putting a list out there, I am also a little bit more reserved about it. It seems like perhaps it is a good starting point, but the list needs to be flexible… perhaps generalizations rather than specifics… I want this quality(ish). Now I sort of visualize “THE list” as being a connect the dots picture, with each list point being a dot, and the lines are all the stuff I haven’t quite thought of yet…. So I’ve been giving it a lot of thought the last week…. I still don’t have anything tangible (meaning I haven’t written it down), and it’s still not something I’m quite ready to share with my mom… but I guess having a starting point is better than the alternative?