The Skanquinox is upon us.

When I was in college, one of my good friends coined the term Skanquinox. I’m 95% sure it happened today, or will in the next few. The sun is finally shining… and though I know it is only for a few brief days, people are pouring outside to up their vitamin d intake.

I think I even subconsciously participated over the weekend. No I was not running around a campus quad in a bikini top… but I did wear a skirt to work. It seemed like a sensible choice to me, skirt and knee socks… isn’t this what one wears in the springtime? Apparently not, since my boss and a number of co-workers managed to make a few snide comments about my outfit choice the second I walked in. “Wow, you are really optimistic, aren’t you?” since when does one need optimism to wear a skirt? Sure it was only 50 degrees outside… but it’s been colder than that all spring, my legs have had time to acclimate.

I grew up in Montana, so I am used to the cold… yes, I do like to be warm, but at this point in the year I am ready for sandals, Capri pants, and flouncy spring skirts. And if the only chance to wear them is on a partially sunny, 50 degree day, I will take it!

I woke up this morning to another beautiful day, blue skies, sunshine, birds chirping… I threw on some running shorts and a baseball cap and went for a jog. Sure the air was a little crisp, but it was tolerable in the sunshine, and I was working up a sweat.  I was in my own little running/ sunshine zone, so I about fell over when I woman running in the opposite direction started yelling things at me.  I had my earphones in, so at first I thought she was just saying an obligatory hello as she passed, but when I saw the look of utter disgust and disbelief on her face I figured it was something else…I finally realized that she was yelling at me about not wearing enough clothes in the weather, and how I must be freezing. I’m sure the look I gave her was priceless…

I’ve never been the kind of person to comment on other’s wardrobe choices. I've never felt the need to walk up to a friend or co-worker, and say "oh interesting outfit choice today!"  Sure, if my friends ask an opinion before we go out somewhere, or if we are trying on new things, I’m honest, but I figure if someone has left their house wearing something, they are obviously confident enough in the decision & they don't need me questioning that, or making a snide comment... also who am I to judge? I dress in yoga pants, and flannel half the time!  Therefore it always boggles my mind a little bit when people do not offer me the same courtesy. The other day I walked into work wearing my sun-glasses, and one of my good friends started laughing... I'm not sure why, and neither is she, but she said that the combination of me with my hair curled and my aviator sunglasses just struck her as funny... I wasn't offended, but did find the reaction strange...This sort of thing happens at work quite often. with a very vociferous co-worker. She is 20 years older than I am, and clearly we do not wear similar styles, but I am always so baffled when she starts make snide comments about what I’m wearing. Is it that she would be uncomfortable wearing what I’m wearing? Is she self-conscious about how she would look? Maybe she really does just find my accessories ridiculous, but even so, is there a reason she has to verbalize that? In the three years we have worked together, I have never been a fan of anything she was wearing, but I have yet to tell her that her mom-jeans are right out of the 80’s. Because what is the point? What would I gain out of belittling her wardrobe choices? ( I guess I should ask her what she gets out of belittling mine).

I was wondering the same thing as the woman ran past me this morning. Was it just the mother instinct in her that took over and wanted to take care of me, this runner who was clearly not sensible enough to put on proper layers before going outside? Was she just the type of person who has no filter, and says whatever comes to mind? Did she feel as though we were kindred spirits since we were both out for a run, and she was just looking out for me? All doubtful… she was projecting her own feelings, and perceptions onto me and what I was wearing… she wouldn’t be comfortable in it, so therefore I shouldn’t be either.  I should have sent her over to the college to observe the skanquinox in its full force… then maybe she wouldn’t have had such a problem with my running shorts and short sleeves (it was really quite pleasant out… shorts were appropriate!)

I guess I really shouldn’t judge the girls in their bikinis… no it's not what I would be wearing but if someone else wants to, more power to them. To each his own version of the skanquinox… I’m sticking to flowy skirts and running shorts.

Simple Meals, and virtuous kitchen skills

“At college, where money is usually tight and good meals are rare, the ability to throw together a decent meal for your friends would probably be much admired. One might even be reasonably expected to have a small but serviceable list of specialties that you could cook for your roommates.” 

–Anthony Bourdain, Medium Raw

Last week found me re-uniting with two of my college roommates for an impromptu weeknight dinner. Together we represented the quintessential Portland twenty-something’s: The graduate student, the unemployed, and the trying to make it the next week and a half on eighty dollars. It was a night of being thrifty, pooling resources, and also enjoying each other’s company, and a few stiff drinks. We had a day full of texting and e-mails, comparing pantry ingredients, and spent some time trying to figure out what sort of meal we could assemble out of lentils, kale, cheese, tomatoes, beans, lemons, potatoes, and basil.

It was a true pot-luck effort, as I swung home after work and packed a shopping bag full of kale, lettuce, an avocado, a few lemons, and some vodka… still un-sure of the menu. In the end we settled on what I call a Mexican Potato, which is pretty much a taco salad built on a baked potato rather than chips. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it was filling, and hearty, and comforting, and delightfully simple.  We snacked on kale chips as the potatoes baked, and mixed basil lemon-drops as we caught up with each other… And all we had to buy were 2 potatoes and a bottle of Sprite… not too shabby for a thrifty meal!

The potatoes were filling, the conversation was good, and the drinks were surprisingly delicious (I grew the lemons myself!). It reminded me of just how satisfying and easy a home-cooked meal can be… and made me even more excited to settle into my new home, and new kitchen.  Today at lunch, I was doing a bit of reading, and Anthony Bourdain has an entire chapter in his new book dedicated to the cooking/ basic survival skills that every person should have. I love his snarky, cynical, way of looking at things, and I must say,  most of the basic skills I agreed with, “The ability to feed yourself and a few others with proficiency should be taught to every young man and woman as a fundamental skill, should become as vital to growing up as learning to wipe one’s own ass, cross the street by oneself, or to be trusted with money” (Medium Raw, page 60). Especially in this economy! I love cooking, but not as much as I love eating, and if I had the financial freedom, a majority of my pay-check each month would be spent on wine and dining out. But realistically, my food budget is not huge, and a majority of my meals are eaten at home. Of course there are still days when the only thing you need in your life is a plate of restaurant made Thai food. And even today, my lunch hour was spent at my favorite new café .

After reading through Tony’s list of essential skills… I’ll admit I do not possess them all… I have never roasted a chicken (though I’m pretty sure I could), and I’ve never really mastered the skill of omelet making (but I can poach, scramble, fry, bake, and boil an egg pretty damn well)… though according to Tony “it is only right and appropriate that before one sleeps with someone, one should be able—if called upon to do so—to make them a proper omelet in the morning” (62). I don’t think I’ve ever made a “proper” omelet, nor do I think I could impress anyone with an omelet… savory French toast on the other hand…  

This year I’m planting a garden… a real full blown garden. Not only in an attempt to cut down on food costs, but also in an effort to connect with what I’m eating. I want to be able to harvest lettuce minutes before I toss it into a salad, pick peas off the vine and throw them in a pan with garlic and olive oil, taste the dirt in the carrots. I want to eat simply, and eat well, and eat thriftily. Perhaps by the end of the summer all the ingredients I need for hearty meal with friends will be grown right outside my front door… perhaps I’ll finally attempt to roast a chicken…

Chalkboard calendar!

I have internet access! Hooray! Granted, I am still tethered to the wall, and have to sit on the floor until my wireless router gets here, but it is internet none-the-less! Once again I am connected to the outside universe by more than just my telephone, and late-night productivity has returned!

Reliable internet is just one of the many moving projects I’ve been working on as of late. I’m still settling into the new space, figuring out all the quirks and nuances, and adjusting. For instance, this is the first time I’ve lived on street level in about 6 years. It’s wonderful when unloading the car, not as wonderful when it comes to privacy. I’m suddenly very aware of just how easy it is to see in my windows… which frankly is something I haven’t had to worry about in a good long while. I’ve always thought one of the perks of living alone was being able to keep doors open, and having the luxury of walking around naked on a whim.  Looks like I might have to adjust to that one… or at least make sure all the blinds are closed!

I finally got my chalkboard calendar mounted on the wall , and updated! I started this project in January, right in the middle of my apartment search. I was itching to paint something, and the apartment that I thought I wanted had just fallen through, and I needed a distraction. I got the idea from who else, Martha Stewart, and figured I needed a calendar anyway. I’m really happy with the way it turned out! It looks rather cheerful in my hallway, and its great to have a prominent spot to make lists.

It was actually really easy, just a piece of particle board and some chalk board paint, a ruler and tape! (though I am straight line challenged, so I had some help from my dad) I followed the instructions and mixed in a bit of white paint and grout to make the grey squares, and voila! It adds a bit of country-chic to my already eclectic reading nook, and at the same time a bit of playful whimsy. It makes me wish I was more artistic, or at the very least had better handwriting.

The first thing I put on the shopping list was new chalk. Though the one piece I have is getting me by, it’s rather fatty, and hard to write with, especially in the calendar squares. I mis-placed it for a bit in the move, and so for several days now I’ve been looking at the March calendar, and just itching to update it and start putting some to do lists in the margins. First order of business, buy new chalk.  Second order of business, plan a house-warming party. Oh and maybe find a curtain to put over the front door window.

a reflection on multi-tasking, the internet, and meditation.

These past few weeks I have been very aware of my multi-tasking tendency/ technology dependency. Mainly because I’ve been functioning without reliable internet access. To say that this causes me a bit of angst, is an understatement. Yes, I am perfectly capable of living a normal life, internet free, I have books to read, rooms to unpack, other things to do… that being said, my productivity has also been cut in half over the past two weeks, and overall my lack of internet has left me feeling chaotic, unorganized and out of touch.

I blame this on the fact that I have literally had internet access in my bedroom since I was in 8^th grade. Yes, I was a bit of a nerdy child, but my BFF lived in Denver, a good 500 miles away, and a good portion of my day was spent writing e-mails. Fast forward to college when everything is done on the internet, submitting papers, on-line messaging, researching, and lets not forget facebook.

As an adult, having constant internet access allows me to pretend like I have a life away from work/ days off, because at least I can answer e-mails and meet deadlines while at home. I’m also a night owl, which means a lot of newsletters, advertising, and social media updates get done while I’m at home in comfortable clothes with a glass of wine. It also is the time when I’m blogging the most, writing the most, researching the most, or watching Netflix the most. So the last few weeks have been a bit of a challenge… not because I have a problem slowing down or re-prioritizing, but because my lack of connectivity has left me feeling behind in several aspects of my life. Rather than just taking an entire day to work on settling my apartment, I have to work for a few hours, then drive somewhere with a computer so I can e-mail our graphic designer, approve ads, and tweak tee-shirt designs for work. And normally I wouldn’t mind, normally I would take my lap-top to a coffee shop, and spend an entire afternoon sipping Stumptown, and playing catch up, but in the midst of a move, and two house-sitting jobs, normal working hours, and a visit from the grandparents, I’ve been lucky if I even get time for a cup of coffee, let alone coffee an a leisurely afternoon. No time during daylight hours when there are boxes to un-pack and pictures to hang on the wall! And sadly, there are no late-night coffee shops for me to frequent at 11PM when my creative juices are starting to kick in.

I’ve only had a smartphone for a year, and already I am trying to figure out what I did before that? Granted, it isn’t perfect, I cannot send e-mail attachments (ok maybe I can? But I’m not savy enough to figure out how), I don’t get to see everyone’s newsfeed, and as of late the alarm clock has turned onto silent mode (why would you even make that feature? Last time I checked a silent alarm doesn’t help get anyone out of bed on time!). It has been invaluable at work, especially over the past two weeks… but lets be honest, typing up long and detailed e-mails on a phone key-board is a bit taxing. It also makes it really easy to blur the lines between my work/ personal life. It’s all combined into one phone, where I get calls and texts from my friends, and just as many calls and texts that are work related. I get work e-mails at 2AM, and though I understand that I do not have to read and answer them, I have been known to wake up in the middle of the night, see the green light blinking, and get sucked into a work e-mail while in the wee hours. Most of the time I have enough self-control, and say “this can wait until tomorrow” but sometimes I’m up, and alone, and think “meh, I’ll just get this out of the way while it’s on my mind”.

I’ve been trying to combat this feeling of unsettled unproductiveness with some daily meditation. Overall I know the unsettledness is resulting from much more than lack of internet. I’ve been essentially living out of 4 different places for the past month, bouncing from one house-sitting job to another, moving from one apartment to another, spending a night or two at my parents house… its been hectic, and dis-jointed, and messy, and annoying. I’m to the point where I feel like I could just hole up in my new apartment for the next month, and just nest (well once I get the internet). I’m tired of living out of suitcases, chasing around pets that aren’t mine, and driving places to get online… I’m tired of multi-tasking when it comes to my living situation, and I am thrilled that tonight is the first night I’m actually going to be sleeping in my new place! Home at last! Anyway, the meditation has been a fun experiement, and also really good for the rest of my life, in which multi-tasking is a key factor. It’s been nice to take 10 minutes every morning and just focus on one though, one intention, or no thoughts and no intention, and just center on silence and stillness. I admit that I thrive on the multi-tasking, but I wonder how different society would be as a whole if we put a higher value on meditation and stillness. Focusing on nothing rather than focusing on everything might be really beneficial.  

I’m still trying to figure out if the multi-tasking that is required if my generation is a blessing or a curse. These days, multi-tasking is all but a requirement in the work-place, and is considered by some to be a resume item. And for me it is pretty much a way of life.  I can be content just working on one thing, just doing one thing… I can savor little moments… but most of the time it takes me a few minutes to settle into it. Today, for example, as I was eating lunch I couldn’t help but feel like there was something else I should be doing… whether that was checking my e-mail, reading a book, making a list, planning out the rest of my day… it felt somehow wrong, and most definitely foreign to just sit in silence and chew my food. And this is coming from a person who loves to eat!  Maybe you need to be in the right mind-set to savor those moments… perhaps if I wasn’t already feeling so behind, if I didn’t have a long list of e-mails to write, phone calls to answer, errands to run, I would have been able to enjoy each bite a little more, revel in the silence, and not worry about all the time I was “wasting”.

And it is an ongoing process. At work, in my personal life.  I always feel like I have 15 or so projects in the air, I’m reading more than one book, I have more than one e-mail address, even now, my web browser is open to gmail, and facebook, and a few news articles, and my blog etc. Maybe the multi-tasking is just our way of justifying ADD? Or a way to keep us from falling into a rut. If things are constantly moving, constantly changing, constantly busy, and just a little bit out of focus, it seems like there is always something to work towards, always something to be doing. Gone are the days of just sticking to one thing, and doing it really well. It seems like we are trying to diversify in all areas of our lives, professionally and socially, and standing still for too long, and focusing on just one thing seems to be a something from the past.

I think eventually we will get back to that slower pace of life… things are trending that way already with the slow food movement, front-yard gardens, sending hand-written letters etc. And these are all things I think the multi-tasking generation is craving… and yet I wonder how I will ever make more time for them without multi-tasking in some areas of my life?

In the meantime, Comcast is coming to install internet tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to feeling a bit less frantic, and a little more connected, and most definitely more productive.