Spending time in Nutrition Land

 I’m ill, and have been for the past week or so, and have spent almost every waking moment that I haven’t been at work glued to my parents couch watching CSI, and Law and Order marathons on TV. What is it about being sick that makes us yearn for our parents to take care of us? Almost everyone I know, wants their mom to take care of them when they are sick, and I am no different. Sadly for me my mom is not a nurturing as I would like her to be in this respect. Let me just say for the record, that my mom is fabulous. She is an excellent care-taker, and she tries incredibly hard. That being said, I totally get where she comes from. I am not a huge fan of children, especially loud, whiney sniffling children, so I can only imagine how she feels when a twenty-four-year-old child shows up on her couch, wallowing in self-pity, carrying around a box of Kleenex. She will gladly give me a bottle of Musinex, make me a cup of tea, and once in a while if I look pathetic enough she will rub Vics on my feet, but other than that she is pretty much hands off when it comes to me recovering from illness. (this of course doesn’t count last summer when I had a staph infection, and she essentially took care of me 24-7 for 3 weeks) She gladly provides me with a place to wallow though, and thankfully that place is mere feet away from her kitchen.

I can honestly say that my mother’s kitchen is a magical place, especially when compared with my rather pathetic kitchen. I hate my kitchen, though I’m trying to work on that… but it has indoor/outdoor carpet, a ghetto stove, and very little storage space. It also doesn’t have a dishwasher… though this is not new to me, I haven’t had a dishwasher for about two years, I especially hate my kitchen when I am sick. I lay on the couch thinking about making something like soup, and then I think about all the dishes that will result, and I usually give up before I even start.

My mother’s kitchen on the other hand, seems to be fully-stocked all the time, has every pot, pan, or gadget that I could ever need/want/use, and yes, there is a dishwasher to take care of all the unsightly mess afterward. Though she might not be willing to make me chicken soup, I at least know that all of the ingredients are tucked away somewhere so if I’m motivated I can make it for myself. And I usually do, or I make something else, because lets face it, there are only so many hours you can spend on the couch with a book, and the tv to keep you company. I’m a pretty active person, and so sitting around day after day starts to drive me crazy really quickly.  I want to go for a run, and do some yoga, but neither one really go hand in hand with the amount of snot that has been coming out of my nose, and so I turn to less strenuous, and less inverted activities. And so after about 3 days of being a couch potato, I start cooking ( I know, snot probably doesn’t go with cooking either, but when you are cooking for yourself who cares? ).

Growing up I never really realized how fantastic my mom’s kitchen was. Now that I am on a fixed income, and don’t have much pantry space to speak of, I am totally enamored by the amount of ingredients that are always on hand at my parents house. The pantry is stocked with grains like barley, lentils, quinoa, whole grain pasta, beans, etc. There are always salad makings, spices galore, fresh fruits and vegetables, meats, sauces, milk, coffee, wine, beer, not to mention baking supplies. Last night, when my restlessness got me off the couch, I was thrilled to find that she had virtually all the ingredients for stuffed bell-peppers, creamed spinach, and an impromptu apricot thyme galette.

Now that I’m an adult, I have really started to appreciate the way that I was brought up, and the eating habits that were instilled by my parents. I never realized how special it was that our cookies and pancakes were always made from scratch, salad never came out of a bag, and white bread was never in the pantry. My brother is and always has been more of a picky eater than I am, and so looking back on our childhood the fact that his favorite food of all time is spinach quiche, and his favorite vegetable is brussle sprouts really speaks for our childhood eating habits.  I’ve had relatives tell me stories about watching me sitting in a stroller, being rolled around an amusement park eating broccoli trees. Though I will be the first to admit that my childhood eating habits may not have been the most “normal” (I hated pizza until I was in high school) I didn’t really realize how “abnormal” healthy eating was until I was a sophomore in college. One of my good friends came home with me during a break, and when we got back she told her parents that my house was like “nutrition-land”. She was amazed that there were always almonds and dried fruit on the counter for snacking, there was always a salad at dinner, and water and milk were our typical beverages.

And I’m so glad that my culinary experimentation and healthy eating habits have carried into my adulthood.  Yes, I do like junk food, in fact I’m eating left-over pizza for lunch as I write this, but for the most part, my food tastes and cravings tend to be on the healthy-ish side, and for that I am eternally grateful.

Blast from the Past

I'm still trying to figure out who ever thought/ said that High School was the best time of your life...seriously, I'd like to track down that person/ those people and punch them right in the face. (and I'm deeply sorry for those of you who think that high school truly was the best time of your life... I'm hopeful that if you think that you are still in high school, and if you are out of high school and still think that... well I send you my regrets. Lets agree to disagree)

But let's not dwell on the past, I only bring this up because I am currently at a high school prom (one is being thrown at my place of work, I'm not here attending) and every ounce of me is so thankful that High School and Proms are behind me. I'm still trying to figure out the fashion... Granted, I'm sure I didn't look overly amazing at all of the proms I attended. Anyone who has eaten at the Bearcreek Saloon & Steakhouse in the past ten years can attest to that( There may or may not be a picture of me at my Freshman prom hanging on the wall close to the restroom... Only in Montana do you go to saloons where there are nightly pig races for your prom dinner.) Though I will not delude myself with thinking that I had the best taste in High School, I still like to think that my dress choices were a little more timeless and classic than the dresses being worn today. Are that many rhinestones really necessary?

That being said, even with the rhinestone factor, this prom is a little more high class than any of the ones I attended. My high school barely had 200 students (the whole school, not just my class) so over the top proms were really not an option. I would have loved to have Prom in a private event space at an Olive & Lavender Farm! This setting is a little more ideal than a high school gym... and from what I can tell the music is a lot better as well At least right now they are listening to some Black Eyed Peas. I partially blame the music and the gym on growing up in Montana, but in all seriousness, there is absolutely no reason why the last dance at my senior prom should have been to "Proud to be an American". Who wants to slow dance "Proud to be an American?" Apparently half of my class, who were all on the dance floor thinking it was the greatest thing since sliced bread... I fled to Oregon shortly thereafter and have not looked back.

I considered putting on a black cocktail dress before coming to work this evening, after all how many times a year do you have an occasion to break out your one and only Nicole Miller little black dress? But I just couldn't do it, I put Prom in my past, and settled on turquoise tights, and a more sensible black sheath dress, both stylish and professional. Apparently the work is looking for me, 'cause when I walked into work this afternoon my Boss's twelve-year-old grandson stopped in his tracks and said "Wow!" I guess I can still turn a few heads even without the formal wear...too bad more men don't visit my place of work, cause it would be nice if the heads I was turning weren't attached to a twelve-year-old.

If I could go back and do it all over again I think my prom dress would look very similar to the dress worn in Dirty Dancing Havana Nights (don't judge me because I have watched/own that movie.... it is majestic in it's own way... the completely awkward one-liners, Patrick Swayze looking very plastic, Diego Luna shaking his hips, the fashion, the revolution, the dancing)

Bridging the gap

Over the past few months I’ve been attempting to bridge the gap between who I am and who I want to be. It’s really easy to project things into the future. “oh someday when I can afford it…” and “when I have more time I’m going to start project X” But if you live like this too long, you sort of just start to feel like life is happening around you while you are going through the motions and waiting for the stars to align and for things to fall into place.  

For the past few years I feel like I’ve been waiting for my life to happen (though not always patiently) and putting my own wants, and needs on hold until I got a better sense of what I was doing with my life. I felt like I needed to put things off until I had the right finances, living situation, support system, etc. and so most of my goals were sorted into the “life goal” category rather than the “immediate future” one. 

And it is totally legitimate to have wants and desires about the future. I know that it would be completely irresponsible for me to spend my life savings on a Bulldog puppy, and I probably shouldn’t plant mint in the backyard of my rental apartment, but a few months ago I sort of woke up to the fact that life was happening around me, and I sure as hell better start living it, otherwise I was going to look back on my twenties and wonder why I didn’t do things differently.

This all sort of started when I applied to graduate school. I knew that I wanted a change, and a pretty major one, and applying to school seemed to be the most productive form of adjustment. Sadly for me, my plans for going to school did not match up with the plans of the people who were in charge of reviewing applications, so this spring found me restless and thinking “now what?”…

But I should back up a little bit, because before I got to the “now what?” moment, I had started to feel a little anxious about leaving Oregon. I started making lists of places I wanted to visit, things I wanted to do, restaurants I still needed to try, and I was almost getting a little overwhelmed when I thought about trying to cram all of these experiences into the next four months. Though I definitely felt a twinge of disappointment that my life wasn’t going to be plunged back into Academia, I also felt a sense of relief knowing that I could actually do a lot of the things that had started appearing on my list.

Let me just clarify, that I am the type of person who knows what I want. That being said, I often don’t express what I want, or at least not adamantly, because I often find that I have to choose between doing what I want to do, and being with my friends… and a majority of the time I choose my friends. I am a social creature, especially since I live alone, and so for the past few years I have often passed up things that I was really passionate about, and settled for things I was semi-passionate about. This is not a complaint. I knew what I was getting myself into, and my friendships are important to me, so if I have to go to a restaurant or bar or movie or club that I’m not that into because all of my friends want to go then so-be-it…

That is until I started to realize that time is a precious commodity and, in general, I was spending a good amount of time doing a lot of stuff that just didn’t do it for me, just so I could be around the people that did do it for me.  And I still do… to a certain point, but I’m starting to learn that that this is a time in my life when I get to be selfish just a little bit.  So here I am, getting ready to make the person that I am, the person that I want to be.

Let me just explain that I hang out with a very diverse crowd with diverse interests, and we are all held together by the common thread of our undergraduate education. We do all have some similar interests, but as we aging and getting more into our jobs and our daily lives, I’m finding that our interests and goals don’t seem to intersect as often as they once did. Again, this is not a complaint, because it makes our group that much more interesting, but it is challenging sometimes when I am the only one in my core group of friends who likes to watch baseball, read Steinbeck, and gets excited about composting.

When I was just out of undergraduate I spent most of my free-time commuting to hang out with friends in the city, and I was in love with every second of it…. Now I often feel very torn, because I still want to see them and spend time with them, but I also  want to become more rooted in my community, spend less time driving, and more time focusing on my own wants, rather than what the majority wants to do. I realize this sounds a little self-centered… and I am totally one-hundred percent OK with that.

When I realized that I wouldn’t be going to school (at least not in the next sixteen months) I knew that something had to change… and I started to think about the reasons I applied to school in the first place. Yes, I want my Masters degree, and I want it in Poetry, but did I apply this year because the timing was right, or because I was un-happy with how things were going in my life? What was the root of my restlessness, why did I want a change so badly? What could I do with my current circumstances that would remedy the unsettled feeling?

And so I did some thinking… (and also some impulsive phone calls and ticket booking) and I started to really try to identify some things that I could start doing that would satisfy my needs, wants, and desires. I realize that there is a fine line between forcing things to happen, and taking initiative. I’m not going to go out and sign myself up for E-Harmony just because I’m less than thrilled with my dating situation. But I am going to be more pro-active in doing things that make me happy, even if that means doing them alone.  Because at the age of twenty-four, why shouldn’t I be passionate about the things I am doing in my life? I figure if I am a little bit selfish now, if I start living the life that I really want to live, it will make me a happier more fulfilled person (now, and in the future when I am ready to spend my life with someone else) There is a chapter in Refuge by Terry Tempest Williams, in which she discusses this exact thing with her mother. (I cannot find my copy of the book right now, and that is really irritating, and I know in the book they are discussing having children… which is so not where I am at, but the same theory applies. I am being selfish right now, so I don’t have to be later)

So here I am, re-focusing a little bit, and making some changes. I’m trying to pull as many of my goals into the present tense as I can, and setting new ones for the future.

In one week I will be in going Boston, on a purely whimsical vacation that is entirely centered around the Red Sox. I am going to eat copious amounts of hotdogs, purchase Redsox underwear, watch batting practice from the Green Monster, and bask in the glory of doing exactly what I want to do while on vacation.

And a few weeks after I get back, I’ll start my training towards becoming a Registered Yoga Teacher.

I’m taking time off of work to go to the Shakespeare Festival, and some baseball games in Seattle. I’m getting patio furniture, and plan on turning my deck into a garden oasis complete with herbs, flowers, cucumbers, and more mint than I know what to do with. My next big purchase is going to be a composting kit.  I’m going to go see Anthony Bourdain on my twenty-fifth birthday. I’m going to get a dutch oven, a tattoo, and I’m going to run a half-marathon. I’m going to start saving money for my Bulldog, and this summer I’m going to make it to the Portland Art Museum, the zoo, and the Chinese Garden.  I’m going to ride my bike, and take off Thursday afternoons so I can go to the farmer’s market. I’m trying new recipes, being a vegetarian (minus the Fenway hotdogs, and perhaps 4^th of July with my brother’s in-laws. ) I’m reading more poetry… I’m reading more in general…and I’m writing.

And I’m feeling more like myself than I have in a long time….or maybe I’m just liking who I am a whole lot better…

A Matter of Support

I did a little bit of shopping this weekend…. Though I’ve admittedly been on a budget as of late due to my spontaneous vacation booking, I ran out of deodorant, contact solution, makeup, and toothpaste all in the same week so a trip to the store for some necessities was in order. (ok I might have picked up a few un essential items as well). 

As I browsed through the aisles I was drawn towards all the spring clothes and bright colors, that is until I walked past the intimates section. I recently had a wardrobe malfunction at work that involved a dress I had never worn before, the lack of a flattering strapless bra, and a coffee urn who may have gotten a little bit of a show… needless to say, I do not want to repeat said experience, so as I browsed through Target I figured it would be in my best interest to invest in a new strapless bra.

Can someone please explain to me why all of the normal-ish looking strapless bras, that had the appropriate support, shape, and dare-I-say padding, are hot pink, orange, colbalt blue & turquoise? I am into bright colors… in cardigans, summer dresses, tee shirts, toe-nail polish, and lipstick, but I have to draw the line at strapless bras. I multi-task all day long, so is it really too much to ask for my strapless bra to look good underneath ALL of my clothes, and not just my brightly colored halter tops? Granted, if I was really serious about finding a strapless bra that looked amazing under clothes as well as by itself I probably shouldn’t have been shopping at Target, but I still cannot fathom why if you are going to the trouble of making a bra, you would not make it available in at least black. Ok, so you are going for the fun flirty look, maybe beige isn’t ideal, but why not black?

Personally I have a bias again strapless bras, or maybe just a bias against gravity.  My less then well endowed body type requires all the lifting power it can get…So strapless isn’t my choice for everyday; however, there are some situations that require a strapless bra, so I was rather peeved when the style I wanted only came in insanely bright colors.

This then got me thinking to the women who do wear these neon-colored strapless bras…. Do they even exist? I completely understand the desire for fun/flirty/sexy lingerie… But why can’t the fun flirty/sexy stuff also come in practical colors? This might just be my tight budget mind at work, but I want a bra that is invisible under clothes, AND has a wow factor by itself. I want the best of both worlds, I want to have my cake and eat it too and I can tell you right now that a turquoise bra with yellow stars (seriously, what could you wear that under?) is not going to satisfy the invisible/ wow factor ratio.

It’s a total double standard I know, because believe me I have plenty of unpractical under-garments, but when it comes to strapless bras I need them to be functioning more so than flirty… Though I would prefer them to be both, I’ll settle for the “no-nonsense black option that when worn alone looks a little matronly” over the “cute cut, great support, makes you look amazing, hot pink, will be seen under everything you own” option… Sigh, another compromise for fashion.

Though a well made, Victoria’s Secret, multi-functioning, cute, sexy, invisible under clothes strapless bra is on my long term shopping list....

Neglect

I know I've been neglecting my blog over the pas few weeks... its not intentional....I've just been running on overdrive between my job and my pet volunteer projects I feel like all of my creative energy is going elsewhere at the moment, and that is just how life is. I have ideas, and things I want to write about and have plenty of notes jotted down in my notebook, and have composed post after post in my head (if only there was a way to get my thoughts on my blog without having to sit down and type them up) but alas, none of them have been written ( a little something to look forward too though!)

This week my dad asked me if I actually considered myself a writer since my writing seems so sporadic at times... and I have to admit it made me really defensive. I mean I had a poem in the Arts Alliance of Yamhill County Newsletter this month (never mind that I know the editor) and I have been writing! Granted, I've been writing advertisements, press releases, and newsletters, but they get a healthy dose of my creative flair... Not to mention the fact that my two volunteer projects happen to be a literary contest an a creative writing festival...
Not that I should be giving excuses. The fact of the matter is that I'm busy, and my creative talents are being used elsewhere at the moment, and when I have time for a free breath, I've been opting to spend them vegging on the couch regaining my energy for the next work week... And when you are living breathing, eating work, there aren't as many exciting (or awkward) things to write about.
So here I am, I'm not ignoring my followers, I'm just sparing you from reading something from the depths of my over-worked, over-exhausted, over-event coordinated, brain... all I ask for is another week and I promise I'll re-gain my spunk and creativity. I promise to pull myself out from this "farmy" state of mind and get back to writing... next week.

A few things that make me smile

Calling Cards…

Right now, I’m slightly obsessed with calling cards… Sure business cards are good too, and I admittedly feel very grown up & professional handing out my business cards at networking events… that being said, not every situation calls for a business card. However, life does, in general, call for calling cards. They are so handy when you need to give out your phone number or e-mail to someone. Gone are the days of awkwardly scribbling your cell phone number on the back of your business card, and praying that the person doesn’t accidentally call you at your office.  I really love the personalized calling cards at Cambria Cove, they are so classy! I’ve been drooling over the green paisley bird calling cards for months now, but lets face it, a girl on my budget doesn’t need $200 calling cards. Which is when I discovered moo.com. So trendy & fun, and affordable! I was able to design & create mini-calling cards for $20, it was ridiculously easy, and they had hundreds of designs to choose from. You can even upload your own pictures and artwork. Frankly, I cannot say enough good things about my cards from moo.com, and I hope that I am starting a trend among my friends. 

 Calling Cards from Cambria Cove

Some of my  Mini-Calling Cards from Moo.com

Raw Asparagus...

I’ve been in love with vegetables my whole life, but it has taken me twenty-five years to discover the delights of raw asparagus. While searching for spring recipes this week I stumbled across and asparagus salad, that has quickly become my new seasonal staple (I’ve made it 3 times in the past week). It consists of raw asparagus, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese, and a light citrus & olive oil herbed dressing. The genius part is that you shave the asparagus with a vegetable peeler, so it comes off in long flat strips that almost resemble linguini. The flavor is so light and green, the texture is crisp, and it looks beautiful! Tasty, easy, and sure to impress your dinner guests. 

 Shaved Asparagus Salad

Aprons...

I got an apron for Christmas, and every time I put it on, I feel like I’m embracing my domestic goddess. Though I’m not sure if food actually tastes better when I wear my apron, it gives me an excuse to spend more time in the kitchen, and food is certainly more fun to make while wearing it. Lately I’ve been finding just about any excuse to put it on. I’ve been doing a lot of baking at work, and I’m pretty sure my boss thinks I’m a little nutty when I whip out my apron and start whisking up batter. I know it’s crazy, but I just feel so much more adventurous in the kitchen when I’m wearing it. I want to try new recipes, tackle new challenges, master the art of being gourmet. This week I made cornbread, which is quite possibly the easiest thing to make. But add a few sage leaves and some feta cheese (and of course a dash of confidence provided by the chic apron) and you suddenly have a dish worth talking about.

White bleeding hearts

Though I love pretty much all spring time flowers, I cannot get enough of the delicate blooms of the white bleeding heart. 

Sparkling cucumber water...

By far my most healthy obsession, but also arguably the most delicious.  Throw a few cucumber slices into a glass with water (I prefer sparkling, but this is also great in regular water), and perhaps a few basil or mint leaves, and you will be drinking water all day long. It’s remarkably yummy, and makes me feel a little bit fancy. It’s so simple, and so delicious.

My “Nephew” Oakley

Clearly no words are needed. He is precious.

Rosemary Thyme Sugar Cookies...

Yes I am realizing that a LOT of the things that make me smile are related to food… But when you work at an herb nursery, its really hard not to be excited about food, especially this time of year. when. I spend my lunch hour browsing the nursery, and dreaming about my summer vegetables, and different uses for culinary herbs… it could be worse, at least I’m not blogging about doughnuts.

A few weeks ago I had to do some baking for a class we were teaching, and I stumbled across a recipe for herbed sugar cookies. This immediately appealed to the savory part of my brain. I’m constantly putting lavender in things, and have had great success with rosemary and thyme tea breads and other savory delicacies, so why not cookies? A few tablespoons of fresh rosemary and thyme added to the dough, and voila, you have the perfect cookie. Again, something delightfully simple that makes you immediately feel fancy and gourmet. If I were the type to throw garden parties (which lets face it, I wish I was) there would be a never ending supply of these herbed cookies and cucumber infused water.  

 

little nuggets

It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of the little things in life. Seriously it is the little things that make it or break it for me, and today was a day filled with little things. Firstly, it was my first day off in a good long while that I didn’t have to be somewhere or do something right when I got up. I was able to slide into my morning, and I cannot even tell you what I difference that makes! Secondly I fell asleep with my computer next to my bed, which meant that I didn’t even have to get out from beneath the covers to check my e-mail. Fantastic. Thirdly, in my in-box was an e-mail from the Boston Redsox with a picture of Fenway Park at 5AM. Happy Opening Day.

Of course today was also Easter, which meant lots of quality food and lots of quality family time. Whenever we have traditional family gatherings there is always a bit of a power struggle between me wanting to try some new slightly exotic recipe, and my brother’s slightly boring food preferences… Ok, maybe they aren’t boring, they are just very traditional, and he is often not quite as willing as I am to think outside the box when it comes to meals. So there was my mother, stuck between the tendencies of my foodie palate, and his traditional taste buds. We ended up compromising somewhere between savory French toast, and salmon with deviled eggs, and ended up with a delicious brunch of Huevos Rancheros. I was able to satiate my culinary creativity by making a tomatillo salsa and also by introducing my family to Bloody Mary’s ala Tayler. (because I have been perfecting the art of Bloody Marys since my grad school applications went into the mail). The huevos were delightful, the tomatillo salsa was a huge hit (even with my dad who claims that tomatillos are his least favorite ingredient in Mexican cooking) and by the end of the meal we were all feeling fat and sassy with our cocktails. Overall a huge brunch success. To top it all off my mom made her coconut cheesecake, and there are really not enough good things that I can say about it, so I won’t even try. 

The other highlight of the day was my non-traditional Easter basket… yes ok, I know I’m twenty-four, and maybe slightly old for an Easter basket, but like I said, I enjoy the little things! Of course Claudia (my mother) knows this about me, and is incredibly good at coming up with fun little surprises. I got a brightly colored floral watering can stuffed with marshmallow eggs, good eyeliner, a red belt, and a little bag filled with kumquats! I know, I’m a huge nerd… but I think the kumquats are my favorite part. Don’t get me wrong, the other stuff is great too, and I’ve already mentally planned out about five outfits I can wear the belt with, and am envisioning a summer filled with container gardening and lots of watering… but damn it, what is better than an unexpected little parcel filled with kumquats? 

To top it all off, I spent most of the afternoon playing with a puppy, the Red Sox beat the Yankees, Neil Diamond sang Sweet Caroline Live at the game, and I was able to successfully balance my checkbook... all is right with the world.