This is not really a manifesto

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

As my 27^th birthday began to draw near, I contemplated writing a manifesto about what I realized about myself, who I was, and what I wanted to accomplish. And then Event season started, house projects began to accumulate, and things like sleep, wine, and trashy shows on Netflix seemed somehow more appealing… When I actually think about my life, things are kind of great right now. I have a job that I love most of the time, and yes there are days when I want to pull my hair out, but I think every workplace has that from time to time. I’m still amazed that I’ve been in one place for four years, and how much the company has grown and evolved in that time frame. I am getting ready to move into my first house. Though I am still technically renting it, it is rather reassuring to know that my rent is going towards a house payment, and that someday it’s a place I might actually put down roots. I have a precocious little bulldog, my yoga business is actually making a profit, and I’m gardening up a storm. Things are maybe even better than great.

  

But  in some of my free time between packing boxes and getting the soil out from underneath my nails I have been thinking about life in my late twenties, and some things I want to accomplish this year. 

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  1.  I want to start dressing better. I have a closet full of awesome beautiful clothes… and most of the time I wear jeans, a tee shirt or yoga pants. Last week an acquaintance of mine was talking about dressing professionally and she said something along the lines of “I dress nicely, because I want men to realize that I value myself… why would they think they need to value me if I’m acting/ dressing like I don’t value myself.” I think there might be some merit to this… though I also don’t want to be dating a guy who is totally superficial and into me because of my style and my makeup… but I get what she is saying. I know its an excuse, but with teaching yoga 4 days a week, actually putting an effort into looking nice, is exactly that, a huge effort. It’s packing a change of clothes, shoes, makeup etc with me most days… and mostly that seems high maintenance. I always do when I’m meeting event clients, and going to meetings, but there are some days when I literally don’t interact with anyone unless I’m grabbing a coffee, and on those days yoga pants and slouchy tops are usually my go to look.  I think there is a time and a place for being put together. I hate the women at the gym who wear makeup… why do you have mascara on at 7AM? We are working out?  But I also don’t want to be the woman wearing pajamas at the grocery store… So my goal is to find a place somewhere between the two extremes… and to make a better effort about picking mindful outfits each day.  *I promise I’m not super frumpy all the time. I’m a fashionista at heart… but I’m also practical.
 
2. Entertain more. Now that I have a house with a real living space, a dining room, and a fabulous back yard, I want to entertain all the time. Impromptu dinner parties,  BBQs, cocktails in the garden. I am so ready to be a hostess with the mostess.

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           3. Date. Often and much.  Which of course is easier said than done. But the truth is, I’m lonely. My last relationship was almost two years ago, and my last date was double digit months ago. (Sadly this is not my longest dry spell. This gal is familiar with the wasteland of love, just ask my college roommates…) My dates have been so few and far between lately (not by choice) that I just find myself being really awkward on dates. I mean that is to be expected, dating is awkward in general, but to some degree I think dating is a skill that takes practice. It’s like doing a challenging yoga pose, it gets easier and less awkward the more you do it… you need to tone your muscles and get used to the pose. Not that I’m saying I’d like to be a skilled dater… More, I’d like to be less awkward when I do date, and the way I see it, the only way to go about doing that is by dating more than I am currently.  I’m not entirely sure how to go about this… (obviously. If I knew I’d already be dating someone)  I’m pretty much against on-line dating, and men aren’t exactly coming out of the woodwork here. Lets face it, I work at a lavender farm, there aren’t a ton of handsome men strolling in here on average, and when they are, they are here with their wives, fiancées and girlfriends.  Hello handsome, of course I would like to show you and your fiancée our event space for your upcoming wedding. Not the best way to meet men.    But I do know that I’m fun and I’m young and I’m single. I also know that I love baseball, I’m a great cook, and I have a bulldog, I’m articulate and quirky, and I’ve been known to shotgun a beer or two. I’ve got my life mostly together, (and I'm growing out my hair)   and I’m ready to date.  All of those things have to work to my advantage somehow. I might be inviting the good the bad and the ugly, but dating is dating, and I think that means I have to take the good with the bad.