So after putting my apartment list out into the universe, I stumbled upon the perfect listing. I couldn't believe it... I had actually been on a waiting list for an apartment in the same building, and thought my timing had been off, when low and behold another opening! Fate! Or so I thought! I promptly called the property management company to set up a viewing and they told me the soonest I could see the place was today at 1PM. In the meantime I looked at pictures, starting looking at the application, made a pros and cons list (the pros way outnumbered the cons) and started mentally moving my stuff over. I was so excited to see the place today, I figured I would look at the apartment, drop off my application, go pick up some boxes and start packing....
One hour before I was supposed to view the apartment I got a call saying that someone had turned in a completed application, and that I was out of luck.... I was crushed! Firstly, because I have rented with this particular property management company before, and the last time they had given me a heads up when someone else showed an interest in the same property that I did... I also felt dismayed since I had at one time been on a waiting list, and had asked repeatedly what I needed to do to follow up with that, and they assured me that having my phone number was enough. I called the second I found out the property was listed, and I set up an appointment 5 days ago! When I called to set up the appointment I told them I was interested, and no one mentioned to me that it would be in my best interest to submit an application before viewing the property...and since I had the first available appointment, I just assumed that meant I was first in line... I assumed wrong.
Ok, so I realize that mentally putting my furniture into an apartment I've never seen, and spending hours looking at design blogs and paint colors isn't exactly living in the present moment. But it was a wonderful distraction from the funk that I've been sitting in for the past month... All I could think about what what things I was going to give to goodwill, what room I was going to pack first, what my work schedule was like, what my moving date would be... I was prepared to send in my 30 day notice with my rent check... I was putting all the money I would save in rent into my savings account.
I may or may not have yelled at the woman who was supposed to show me the property... and I may have cried... which of course makes me look like the most credible renter around... I know I know, I shouldn't have put all my eggs in one basket so to speak... I was just so ready for a change, and thought this was going to be the perfect thing. And I missed it by an hour! And maybe missing out on an apartment that I've never seen shouldn't be that big of a deal... but it was to me... Though I still think 2011 will have a lot of positive changes... this was a major setback for me emotionally.
Of course everyone around me is convinced that something better will come along, and it wasn't meant to be, and that is probably true, but it doesn't make it any less disappointing. It's so frustrating when everything that you try to change about your life seems to fall flat. Here I am craving change, craving a project, trying to do things differently, and yet everything that I try to change just seems to not work out. I know that things might work out, the applicant could miraculously be rejected, or I could find another apartment next week... its just frustrating when I am at this point in my life when I have weeks off of work, am completely restless, and have nothing but time on my hands, and am actively wanting to move, and its just not happening...
Meanwhile, in attempting to make the best of the situation I asked my currant landlord if I could paint (nothing crazy, something tasteful) and if I could put in a garden in the yard... both were rejected. Leaving me to realize that even though the place from today might not be where I'm supposed to end up, neither is the place that I'm living. Its usually times like this that I start to question my karma... can I please just win one? True, I know that a new apartment isn't going to make up for the lost relationship (I'm not as much depressed about that as I am about the loss of the friendship) but at least it would be a change of my choosing.
I supposed I could start getting rid of things, and collecting boxes, but frankly, it just seems depressing when there is nowhere to go. So here I go, back on the apartment prowl, kicking myself for letting this apartment slip through my fingers twice!
One hour before I was supposed to view the apartment I got a call saying that someone had turned in a completed application, and that I was out of luck.... I was crushed! Firstly, because I have rented with this particular property management company before, and the last time they had given me a heads up when someone else showed an interest in the same property that I did... I also felt dismayed since I had at one time been on a waiting list, and had asked repeatedly what I needed to do to follow up with that, and they assured me that having my phone number was enough. I called the second I found out the property was listed, and I set up an appointment 5 days ago! When I called to set up the appointment I told them I was interested, and no one mentioned to me that it would be in my best interest to submit an application before viewing the property...and since I had the first available appointment, I just assumed that meant I was first in line... I assumed wrong.
Ok, so I realize that mentally putting my furniture into an apartment I've never seen, and spending hours looking at design blogs and paint colors isn't exactly living in the present moment. But it was a wonderful distraction from the funk that I've been sitting in for the past month... All I could think about what what things I was going to give to goodwill, what room I was going to pack first, what my work schedule was like, what my moving date would be... I was prepared to send in my 30 day notice with my rent check... I was putting all the money I would save in rent into my savings account.
I may or may not have yelled at the woman who was supposed to show me the property... and I may have cried... which of course makes me look like the most credible renter around... I know I know, I shouldn't have put all my eggs in one basket so to speak... I was just so ready for a change, and thought this was going to be the perfect thing. And I missed it by an hour! And maybe missing out on an apartment that I've never seen shouldn't be that big of a deal... but it was to me... Though I still think 2011 will have a lot of positive changes... this was a major setback for me emotionally.
Of course everyone around me is convinced that something better will come along, and it wasn't meant to be, and that is probably true, but it doesn't make it any less disappointing. It's so frustrating when everything that you try to change about your life seems to fall flat. Here I am craving change, craving a project, trying to do things differently, and yet everything that I try to change just seems to not work out. I know that things might work out, the applicant could miraculously be rejected, or I could find another apartment next week... its just frustrating when I am at this point in my life when I have weeks off of work, am completely restless, and have nothing but time on my hands, and am actively wanting to move, and its just not happening...
Meanwhile, in attempting to make the best of the situation I asked my currant landlord if I could paint (nothing crazy, something tasteful) and if I could put in a garden in the yard... both were rejected. Leaving me to realize that even though the place from today might not be where I'm supposed to end up, neither is the place that I'm living. Its usually times like this that I start to question my karma... can I please just win one? True, I know that a new apartment isn't going to make up for the lost relationship (I'm not as much depressed about that as I am about the loss of the friendship) but at least it would be a change of my choosing.
I supposed I could start getting rid of things, and collecting boxes, but frankly, it just seems depressing when there is nowhere to go. So here I go, back on the apartment prowl, kicking myself for letting this apartment slip through my fingers twice!
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That sounds really frustrating! How about visiting The Gambia to get out of the funk? : )
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