Yoga Frenzy

I realize that when I say yoga frenzy it sounds very much like an oxymoron. But for the past few days my life has felt like just that. I have been running around tying up every loose end I can think of in preparation for teaching my first class on Monday morning. Granted, I am a bit of a procrastinator by nature, but I have been diligently preparing for January 17^th for quite some time. I’ve also been working 12 hour days doing everything from antiquing, going to flower market, building terrariums, re-doing the entire retail floor, meeting with clients, booking weddings, planning classes, writing ads, and you add in time for sleep, nourishment, and finishing up my required yoga hours, and you get the frenzy.

Friday was my first day off in a week, and I reveled in that for all of two seconds before I realized it was also my last day off before I started teaching. This meant following up with equipment suppliers, going to the bank, double checking liability insurance, taking classes, making play-lists for class, doing sequencing, minor panicking when the equipment supplier tells you they cannot find your order, and it will not arrive before Monday, re-do the sequencing without props, make an additional 8 eye pillows, look up recipes for mat cleaner, go buy more fabric to finish the eye pillows, meet with a graphic designer to discuss business cards, (and other volunteer projects) e-mailing students, tweaking liability forms, creating sign in sheets, printing said waivers and sign in sheets, reading about hand mudras, updating the facebook page… the list goes on. I finally stopped at about 11PM for some much needed vegging before falling into a much needed sleep (thank you lavender eye pillow).

Surprisingly enough I am not nervous for Monday (but let’s see where I’m at on Monday morning). I’m not feeling cocky or overly confident, but I do feel comfortable and safe about the poses I am teaching. I am actually feeling incredibly blessed, as I was only expecting a handful of students (six maybe seven for sure… and that number has grown to over ten! Some are just friends and mentors coming to my first class for support, some are coming just because it’s a holiday and they don’t have to work, but some are coming because they  are starting on their yoga journey, they have no idea what they are doing, and they are trusting me to get them there… and to me that is huge!) Perhaps I should be feeling nervous, but I think I haven’t had time yet. I’ve been too worried about getting everything done, supplies arriving, website building, and installing quicken on my computer. I am not nearly as nervous about the yoga as I am about the business aspect of things. In yoga, when in doubt, just do Child’s pose… in business its not that simple. I’m already beginning to question, did I make the right choice ordering my supplies? Did I order enough? Did I order too many? Did I go with the wrong company? (yes it was the most affordable, but was it the right choice? Considering that I will not have any of my supplies for my first class,  I’m having my doubts). I’ve been over lists in my head, the liability insurance, the waiver forms, the bank accounts, and as far as I know I think my ducks are in a row… but I’ve never done any of this before, and it’s the unknown that is the challenge.  The yoga… it’s in the muscle memory… but the rest?

And tomorrow I graduate. After being a yoga student for the past eight years, and a teacher trainer for eight months, tomorrow the training wheels come off and I make the transition from student to teacher. Though I know I will be a life-long student of yoga, there is a definite shift taking place. Gone are the days of being isolated on my mat, being able to focus solely on my own practice. (lets be honest, those days started to slip away eight months ago) Even if I can keep my eyes on my own mat, I know I will be constantly aware of language, new ways of saying things, great verbiage, sequencing I can borrow, tactful ways to assist students. I will never be able to be ambivalent about my neighbors knee position again... Though I am so grateful for this entire experience, the deepening of the practice and the opportunity to teach, I’m also slightly nostalgic for the days where “yoga student” was my only role.

And so, even though I feel like I probably still have things I need to work out, sequencing I should go over, loose ends to tie up (putting a new battery in my travel clock, getting candles, charging my i-pod, getting all my eye pillows together, assembling a cash box, remembering pens… the list goes on) tonight I am letting myself relax. Tonight I’m letting myself just be a student… because tomorrow I no longer have that option.  Tonight I’m not worried about props, and getting in my last half hour of class, and submitting paperwork to the yoga alliance. Tonight I am painting my toe nails, and soaking in the tub with a nice cold beer. Tomorrow I will be a teacher, tomorrow I will over-think things, and over-plan, and pack my yoga bag, and worry about getting everything in order. But tonight, I’m just a yoga student, and my only responsibility is being content exactly where I’m at.

For those of you who are curious I’ll be teaching classes on Monday & Wednesday Mornings. You can find out more at Olive Branch Yoga