Countdown to Toby

One week from today, I am getting the first pet of my adult life. This is exciting and a little bit terrifying all at the same time. I’ve wanted a bulldog for as long as I can remember… but up until a few weeks ago is was just a far off fantasy. 

My family will tell you that I have been talking about “Toby” for years. When people first meet me, they read the tattoo on my foot, and then ask me what it is I plan to do with my one wild and precious life. The short answer is usually “write, and get a bulldog…. Named Toby” (I might not have all my goals and priorities lined up, but at least I know what my heart wants)  Where the name Toby came from, I’m really not sure, but somewhere in my heart, I knew that I was destined to have a bulldog son, and that his name would be Toby.  I’ve thought about him for quite some time, and have even carried around a Bulldog training book with me through 5 moves…(though along with the rest of my reference books, it was hardly ever picked up) When I moved into my current apartment I negotiated a Bulldog Clause into my lease (no Joke… I am allowed to have an English Bulldog but no other pets) just in case 2011 was the year Toby finally came into my life… and here he comes. I wasn’t even seriously looking for a dog, I just started toying around with the thought. Fall was fast approaching, and with it the end of wedding season, and I thought “hey this could be a good time to make this investment… I’ll have money saved up, and will be working less crazy hours” so I started looking around for litters that might be available in say October November. Naturally I found a litter that would be ready to come home on August 1^st, and my mind filled with panic and anxiety. “I am not ready for a Dog in August!” I told myself firmly. One look at my house, and it was confirmed, Tayler would not be anywhere near pet ready on August 1^st…. but for posterity sake, I put my name on a list for the breeder to contact me. (in my defense I thought there wouldn’t be dogs available anyway, and that she could put me in touch with other breeders, for a time down the road when my life was a little less chaotic and a little more dog proof)

And of course I didn’t hear from her, and didn’t hear from her but I wasn’t too concerned, because clearly I was in no place to get a dog anyway, and work was being hectic, and I was planning on going on two vacations, and things were not lining up, and I wasn’t even in the market for a dog really… etc etc. Until of course I got an e-mail with this picture,

and I was instantly smitten. Which of course I knew I would be. But it seemed like there was already a waiting list, and two of the puppies had some health issues, and it still didn’t seem like everything was falling into place, nor did I think I wanted it to fall into place.  Everyone I talked to said “whatever you do, don’t go visit, or you will come home with 2 puppies”  and I knew they were probably right, so instead I called the breeder, and talked asked her about 45 minutes worth of questions on the breed, on her dogs, on anything I could possibly need to know before even seriously considering making a commitment like this (meanwhile my trusty bulldog book came off the shelf, and I found myself reading chapter after chapter each night).

Needless to say, I met the puppies, and fell even more in love, and started contemplating what would need to happen for Toby to become a reality. I was still being cautious, because there was a waiting list, and a very real possibility that by the time it got to my name, there would be no dogs left…. And thus started my frantic budgeting, a rather long e-mail campaign to the breeder, a few awkward negotiations at work about pets in the office, some very long talks with my parents about some key work dates I might need a puppy-sitter… and the over-all getting my ducks in a row, just in case! I really was worried that it wouldn’t happen, that the dog I really wanted would be sold… and then I got the e-mail. 

Side note…. I totally feel like an expectant parent. I know that adopting a child is much more emotional… but I don’t want children… and Toby has been in my heart for YEARS. Ask anyone in my family, and they will tell you, I have been talking about Toby for a good long while, and of course no one really took me seriously.  I have a collage in my room of life goals… Toby is on there. So when I make references to becoming a single mom it is really because I feel like this is my dog child. And there is a very good chance that real children will not be in the picture. I also realize that if I ever want my current dating situation to change, I should probably not refer to myself as a single mom… but I kind of feel like one. I will not pretend that I know what it is like to have children, (however the Bulldog breeder has told me that getting a Bulldog is like having a perpetual two-year-old, and that raising a puppy is six times harder than raising a child…. I’m choosing not to believe that last fact… but some people might). I also know plenty of people who have opted not to have children, and really their pets fill that void. I’m not talking about the weird people who dress up their pets take them everywhere, and treat them like a member of the family  (please god, Toby will not wear clothes or costumes)… and I have every faith that I am not going to turn into a crazy pet lady, and I’m hopeful that Toby and I will have no familial resemblance. That being said, I cannot wait to wake up to his smudgy little face everyday.

Toby will be a work dog, and I have to say that though my boss might not be thrilled to share the office with another living creature (there is already a poodle in there as well) he is understanding about it, and everyone else in the office is pretty excited. I went to the office the other day, and my co-workers had printed out a picture of Toby, and put it on the bulletin board. This dog is loved, and he doesn’t even realize it yet!

Ok, ok, I’ll stop gushing/ being a crazy pet person. I honestly can’t help it… When your dreams become a reality, its hard not to shout it from the rooftops, do a little dance, post it on twitter etc. My heart is so full of love, I honestly cannot even describe it (also realize it might be a little sad that at the age of twenty-six I have never been in love, but damn it, I love this dog with every breath in my body… I’m choosing to look past that). I also realize that as of next week, my life is going to change dramatically. Gone are the late night’s in Portland, the impromptu nights spent crashed on friend’s couches. I’m headed into a reality that involves taking care of someone else’s needs, potty training, lining up baby-sitters, and always making sure I have enough time in the morning to pack a kennel, and lunch, and toys, and a leash, and get to work on time. I am entering into a reality that includes wrinkle cleaning, and shedding, and I’m sure more than one chewed up pair of shoes, and early mornings, and feeding schedules, and scooping poop. I am headed into the non-glamorous life of a pet, owner… which means money I was once spending on clothing and cocktails, will be spent on vet bills, and dog food (and probably some lint rollers) I’ll be the first to admit, “motherhood” is going to be a bit of an adjustment.  Did I mention that I get to wake up to this face everyday?

Here I am, living the dream. Just a single girl and her soon to be bulldog. 

(Seriously, quality men, get it together. I love baseball. I own a bulldog (who also happens to love the Red Sox). I’m a really good cook, I’ve been told that I’m funny, I’m a yoga teacher and I can shot gun a beer. I’m just sayin…. )